I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
