just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
