I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
