i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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