we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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