I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
