the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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