That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
