dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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