dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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