Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
