just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
