Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
