Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
