oh god the rape fog is back!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize