According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
