ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
