I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
