You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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