My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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