Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize