If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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