It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I need a beard to bite.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
