I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
