i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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