I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
