thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
