his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize