My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
