I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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