How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
