I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
