pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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