Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
