if only i could text you this smell
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
