I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize