Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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