Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
And then he peed in my hair
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