I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
