this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
being pregnant is like rehab
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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