We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
