brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just want nice things and good sex
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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