BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
