Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
