just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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