Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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