If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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