I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
These tits shall not be calmed
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
