Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
