Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
