Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
