Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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