see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
