Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I stole a fireplace last night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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