Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
