once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
