I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
