she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
