DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
