I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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