WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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