does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
