I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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