sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize