just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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