the day after is always just damage control
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
