WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
