If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
