literally had 100 drinks last night.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
